Lucy Jameson aged 6
There is a magic worlde that nobody knows about accept me and my frend. we can see it and taste it, touch it with our lighte and unwavering fingertips.
Just shut you're eyes and you will see I shall take you there in a hartebeat.
The magic worlde is on the beach. And if you want to see if you want me to take you there you muste knoew the story first. Let me tell it to you.
Well me and my friend Rachael were going to the beach for the day because of our goode end of year exam results we were going into our first year of primaree next year so Rachaels mummy and daddy said we should go to the beach as a special present.
So we did.
Rachael's mummy and daddy put up the tent billewing in the wind a beotifull lilac that almost matched the hue of the skye on thefineday.
Rachael had an older sister who liked gossip magazines Rachaels sister sat down and she read them and we went off
there was a little cave
"Whats that!" I yelled, raceing toward the cave
"I dunno" Rachael yelled back
"Lets looke then oh look its a nice cave isnt it" and we rushed inside the cave.
It was quiet small we had to press up against the walls of the cave and we walked across the floor.
"Look at that"
"Theres an opaining"
And there was a small gap in between all the shells so we raced toward it but it was too small
"Oh no" we cried
"I'll push ya throug then youll pull me throug yeah Kellie" Rachael said and I said yes so she pushed me through
I fell heade firste intto the sand scramin lik a crazie girl quickly I turnede around and got Rachael through
Rachael and I turned around, expactinge to see a long strip of beach as white as an old womans hair and water as blue as the skye
"Wow" we said it was a magic worlde!!
Mermaids with their shiny transperente violet tails lay on the rocks their lovely hair in all shades of pink and blue and red and green and brown and blonde lay on the rocks prettily. whilst dolphins they leap through their air like acrobats trained.
The sand was softer than any sand I'd ever felt, and there were pam trees next to the cave with ripe coconuts in bunches lying on there.
There were also lagoones made from rockes and when we peered in there were amazing technocolored fish swimming around in their we were so exsited.
"HELLO" I called to the mermaids. They gasped
"What are you doing heir" They all yelled ready to run back into the ocean like crazie
"No NO NO"
"We mean no harm" Rachael yelled after I yelled "No NO NO" (that was me)
"Alrighte if you say so alrighte." And they beckoned smoothly with there skin as peachy and silky as the sun. We waided into the water and it were l iek a swimmin pool then we hopped onto the rocks with them
"Would you liek to swim with us"
"Would we EVER" I yelled so escited by this motion.
Rachael clapped her hands as she was happy like i were real happy too. We were both happy
The beautiful pink haired mermaid puckered her beautiful red lips and breathed air into my mouthe. I gasped as she pushed me into the water and looked down, feeling like I was going to drown. I looked up at them and swam up to see them all
sliding into there water! I yelled after them they was wey ahead of me swimming like crazie girls had they meant me to drown i felt cold all over
But then I saw Rachael behind me and her hair was YELLOW NOT BLONDE YELLOW! PROPER YELLOW LIEK A CANARY BIRD! She looked beotifull.
"Did they drown us by the way you look lovorly" I patted her locks.
"NO THEY DIDNT! They gave us the mermaid gifte lets swim after them your hair is skyeblue come on they'll explain m ore if we just swim after them."
So I did jst that looking down I had a skyeblue tail to match and my purple T-Shirt wasnt even wet despeit bein in that water that was well weird i thought but never mind if its well weird yeah cuz I gotta chase them mermaids!!!
So we swam after them mermaids just yonder and it was so fun I could BREATHE underwater it was well cool and I LAUGHED!! BECAUSE i was happy.
We caught the mermaids up on the rocks a couple of metres away and they laughed,
"How did you like your first mermaid swim"
"WHAT wait we dun' understand"
"We gave you a gifte you are mermaids with us now whenever you come into contact with the magic worldes hidden behind every single beach mermaids will welcome you as there own children and you will swim with them and they will giv you gifts and plus you'll never burn in the sun because you have mezormorizing MERMAID SKIN!! Your appearanse allso changes underwater to your ideal self."
I agreed because me and my bestfriend well we just looked armazing
And then we werenot just happy we were elated and we hugged them and thanked them for such a speshal gifte and had one last swim with them before we went back.
Now I know that sounds well abstract but I'm fourteen now and I'm still a mermaid with my friend Rachael. Only we know about these magic worldes but CHILDREN if you want to be a mermaid do not believe that poppycock that you cannever be one just search for a MAGIC WORLDE on your beach and the mermaids if they trust you will make you a mermaid.
Cora Harrison says
I love the description of the mermaids and of the lagoons.
You have a very good vocabulary and words like 'elated' help to make your reader experience what you are writing about.