amelia aged 10 from larkhill primary
The clouds munched away at the sky casting darkness on the ground below.
But up in asgard it was about to get worse.Thor awoke and reached across to grap his almighty hammer.But feeling nothing but air Thor was so full of rage he stormed through asgard looking for his beloved hammer.In the corner Thor found his half brother loki in the corner.Holding in his anger thor managed the few words of hello Loki before taking his almighty fist and shoved Loki againt the wall.Loki insisted in not taking it and that he was going to help find it.Loki whent to his sister goddes frig and asked for her white invisibility cloak. but Loki put it on and turnt inot a beautiffull white raven. Loki set out in search of the hammer on earth but has bean missing since.Making Thor powerless and weak.
Cora Harrison says
You write well with a lovely poetic choice of words (I love the expression 'The clouds munched away at the sky'). What you need to do now is plan your story - perhaps make a list of the various points in your story - like a map of a journey - remembering to have a good and exciting ending - and then write it as best you can using the sort of language that makes others see the pictures in your mind.
I'm really looking forward to seeing it.