Eleanor aged 12 from Ladies' College
Chapter 1
I started ballet when I was three. I wasn't good then but I thought 'Well, nobody's good when they're three'. But there was one girl: Ellie - or as I later found out: Ely. Strange spelling, I know - looks like it should be pronounced 'Ee-lie'. I think her Mum is Scandinavian or something.
She always had her hair in a neat bun with a little French plait going into it. The teacher loved her and gave her all the solos - I don't know how the rest of us were supposed to get any better. Miss. Corman, her name was. Only Ely like her - no prizes for guessing why.
I think Ely was a nice girl, but getting all that attention at the age of three - i t's got to get to you. She thought she was the most amazing ballerina the world had ever seen. I won't waste my time explaining why she wasn't. By the time she was seven I think her mother had had enough. She slotted back into place and when she was asked to stand in front of the class and "show everyone how it's done", she didn't smugly dust off her tutu, sweetly say "Of course, Miss. Corman" and do the steps perfectly. She would simply walk to the front and say "I'm sorry, Miss. Forman, but I don't think I can do a petit jete any better than anyone else here".
Of course, she made friends quickly - even I was close friends with her for about a month. Ely would still do all these steps, but she wouldn't show off about it. Miss. Corman was extremely disappointed, but thankfully, when we were eight, we switched teachers to a Ms. Toll, who gave avery student a chance. Obviously she paid close attention to the best dancers ( Ely was still a brilliant dancer - so he r and another girl called Bobby-Jane, but we just called her Bobby - in fact she was called Roberta-Jane, but that's just too long-winded!) but she never made any other students feel unimportant. Except me.
It wasn't her, don't take it the wrong way, I just always felt...invisible - like nobody could ever see me. I didn't mind - it was nobody's fault, but me. It was OK then, I was eight - I didn't care. If anything - being invisible was a good thing...as a child. But you don't want to grow up looking out at the world, but hardly anyone in it can see you most of the time.
"Bobby-Jane?" Ms. Toll had said one day.
"Yes?" Bobby replied.
"Can I just call you Bobby?" She asked.
"Yes."
"Would you like to go first?".
"Yes." As you can see, Bobby was very polite. I don't really get Bobby-Jane, bit unusual - but that's alright. Bobby - Leigh, I get - would've killed to be called Bobby-Leigh.
Anyway, Bobby set to work...skipping. Lovely ballet skips, but still, I thought it was a bit babyish. Ely was next, then Ms. Toll said "It's your turn...I'm awfully sorry - I've forgotten your name?". She was looking at me.
"Cora." I said quietly. I couldn't stand my name.
"Speak up, dear."
"Cora." I said quite loudly.
"Ah, yes. Well, it's your turn...Cora." She pointed alond the empty studio.
I skipped along diagonally and Ms. Toll told me I did quite well. I walked back into the line and said to the girl next to me, Tammy, "Easy-peasy-lemon-squeazy."
"Huh?" She asked, almost ignoring me.
"Well done, girls. Now we are going to move on to something a little more advanced...pas de chat," Ms. Toll smiled, "now, does anyone know how to do a pas de chat?"
Bobby's hand went up "I do, miss."
"Alright then, Bobby - show us.". Ms. Toll gestured toward the front. Bobby arkwardly hopped with her right leg, sideways and onto it again.
"Ummm....yes, I see the idea, Bobby - I'm not sure you've got the technique quite right." Ms. Toll showed us a perfect pas de chat, "Now, everyone do it with me - and pas de chat de chat! And again...pas de chat! Very good!" I enjoyed this step, it was fun and bouncy.
"Now, does anyone know what pas de chat means?"
I put my hand up, but she asked another girl called Jenny, "Well, I know chat is cat in French."
"Good, Jenny. Pas de chat means 'step of the cat' because it's quick and leapy - like a cat. Right, I'm going to put some music on and we'll do some pas de chats." Ms. Toll went over to the CD player and put on some bouncy music. We all followed her "Pas de chat, hold, pas de chat, hold - quickly now - pas de chat, pas de chat, pas de chat!"
This was an average lesson. I wasn't a great student, I played no important role. I just went. I can't believe I even liked it like that. I must have, I suppose, otherwise I wouldn't have gone. Being a good student meant working hard, always doing the steps right, always listening to the teacher - I couldn't live up to that - I wasn't bothered, there was no one t"Huh?" She asked, almost ignoring me.
"Well done, girls. Now we are going to move on to something a little more advanced...pas de chat," Ms. Toll smiled, "now, does anyone know how to do a pas de chat?"
Bobby's hand went up "I do, miss."
"Alright then, Bobby - show us.". Ms. Toll gestured toward the front. Bobby arkwardly hopped with her right leg, sideways and onto it again.
"Ummm....yes, I see the idea, Bobby - I'm not sure you've got the technique quite right." Ms. Toll showed us a perfect pas de chat, "Now, everyone do it with me - and pas de chat de chat! And again...pas de chat! Very good!" I enjoyed this step, it was fun and bouncy.
"Now, does anyone know what pas de chat means?"
I put my hand up, but she asked another girl called Jenny, "Well, I know chat is cat in French."
"Good, Jenny. Pas de chat means 'step of the cat' because it's quick and leapy - like a cat. Right, I'm going to put some music on and we'll do some pas de chats." Ms. Toll went over to the CD player and put on some bouncy music. We all followed her "Pas de chat, hold, pas de chat, hold - quickly now - pas de chat, pas de chat, pas de chat!"
This was an average lesson. I wasn't a great student, I played no important role. I just went. I can't believe I even liked it like that. I must have, I suppose, otherwise I wouldn't have gone. Being a good student meant working hard, always doing the steps right, always listening to the teacher - I couldn't live up to that - I wasn't bothered, there was no one there to push me
Chapter 2
When I was ten i started taking an extra half hour class before ballet. It was mostly a normal sort of warm-up class, but it was fun anyway. All of the good people did it and some others (including me). There were some older girls all wearing bright leg warmers and funky crop t-shirts on top of their black leotards. And there we were - the 'midgets' - in our perfect ballet tights and shoes and blue leotards. Most of us had our hair in really tight, neat buns or ponytails or plaits, but the big girls had their hair in messy buns - which looked really cool.
It was the dance festival in several months and, even though she hadn't said so, I knew Ms. Toll would be telling the chosen solo-ers what they were doing.
After lessons she kept back a few people - Ely, Bobby and Jenny (because she understood ballet). I did n't mind - I knew that I had been working hard in 'B4 BALLET', but I didn't honestly think that two months of extra work would get me a solo! That was the most exciting thing that could possibly happen to you in ballet.
They were told not to say anything like "Oooh! I'm so excited about my ballet solo!" They couldn't even answer you if you said "What was that about?" They'd have to say it was a pep talk or something.
But I knew it wasn't. I wasn't stupid - why would three people get a pep talk? Because they were doing badly - the problem was that we all knew they weren't. You could see the buzz of excitement on Bobby's face - first timer. Ely and Jenny had solos last year, but six-year-olds don't get solos - so that was the only one. I wish i could join the solo group, but you have to work really, really hard - that's too hard. I don't want to.
My most exciting moment was the next week, between 'B4 BALLET' and ballet. Ms. Toll called me and Tammy to her.
"Girls. You have been working hard in the first class. And it means you're bothered." She smiled, "So...I think you should be flower girls!"
I did NOT like Tammy, but then we both hugged each other.
"This means you will present one of the teachers with a bouquet of flowers. It might be me! There will be a pair of younger girls and two pairs of older girls presenting as well."
I knew what it was. After the dances i rushed into the audience and sat with my mother and watched the flower girls intently and with envy. How they got kissed on the cheek by their teachers and stood in neat rows in their costumes.
"Thank you, miss!" We chanted at the same time.
"That's alright, dears. Now here's what you do-"
"We know, miss." Tammy said, then looked at me for confirmation. I nodded.
"Ah, good." Ms. Toll pursed her lips, "Girls...you've been looking forward to this, haven't you?"
"Yes." I said.
"More to a solo, but I know Bobby and Ely are better than me." Tammy agreed.
"And me. a solo would've been amazing, but I'm not ready yet - and, hey, there's always next time." I agreed.
"Exactly. Brilliant! Wait - you girls know you'll be going on stage together, sharing the flowers, right?" Ms. Toll reminded us.
My face fell at the same time as Tammy's. Of course I knew - I'd just forgotten. I had to tolerate Tammy - on stage!
"Oh, yeah...um - of course we knew!" Tammy tried to hide her hatred.
"Good. Why am i asking you all these questions?! You know everything there is to know about being flower girls!" Ms. Toll stood up and began to set up for ballet.
Tammy squished up her face and said "i don't like you. You don't like me. I'm getting better. It's a well known fact that the best flower girl (usually) gets a solo next time. i want that solo, so if you think I'm going to make this easy for you, then you're wrong." Then she faked a sweet smile, "See you on the ice." Then she walked away.
I could see right then what I would have to put up with. I would HAVE to be on the ball.
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Chapter 3
I worked harder in things like curtseys and walks and posture because I knew that was what they were looking for in flower girls. Ms. Toll noticed how I tried to smile and look up, but I didn't have to force myself to smile - I couldn't wait!
***
Mum was holding my costume and the backstage door open for me to walk in with the box of hair things. I coughed as I stepped into a cloud of hairspray and little girls with too much make-up on.
"Right. Your dance school is in dressing room...two. Over there." Mum pointed to quite a large dressing room packed full of girls - and a couple of boys (but in a separate section, of course). I loved it - the mirrors with light bulbs around them, pretty dresses, but most of all the stage. Large and black - you could make it anything you wanted...with dance.
I directed Mum over to a bunch of girls wearing the same thing that I would be s oon. Gorgeous red and white tutu dresses. Not black flares and sparkly tops - tap. Not blue catsuits - modern.
As I was getting changed Tammy walked past me and said "Break a leg...no, really." I felt like telling her to get lost, but I didn't - I just sat there tying bows on my ballet shoes. Mum scraped back my hair into a bun and told me to close my eyes as she hair sprayed
my hair. Then I walked into the hallway and stood in line for a little table for my dance school. There was a senior girl doing make-up for each academy. When I was at the front of the line I said the name of my dance and she applied red lipstick, mascara, blue eye shadow and black eyeliner.
I popped back into the dressing room and stood next to Ely.
"You all ready?" I asked her even though I could see she already was.
"Yeah. Three more dances then it's us!" She squealed.
I'd completely forgotten what was happening out there. My mum had gone to sit in the au dience - but backstage (unless you look at the list) you were completely oblivious to what was happening onstage.
"Oh, yeah! Are you excited about your solo?" I smiled. Everyone knew who was doing solos by then.
"Yeah. Not as excited as Bobby, though. Look at her!" Ely pointed to Bobby who was about a meter away and was jumping up and down.
"Wow, she really is bobby today!" I joked.
"He he! Very." Ely laughed.
"Hey, y'all! How's it goin' back here?" An America girl, Briana, doing a tap dance asked.
"Hi, Briana! I'm a bit nervous!" I giggled.
"Well, ya'll better get your butts in gear, coz' we gonna put it down!" Briana said.
"Why do Americans talk so funny?" Ely asked in an American accent.
"Well, you don't exactly talk propa' eiver?" Briana put on a Northern English accent.
"Ha! Americans are hilarious!" I laughed.
"Ooh, look! It's us!" Ely pointed and I followed her to Ms. Toll who was ge tting us together. I felt sick. You always will. No matter how old you get or how much experience you've had.
"OK, girls! We're going on when the girls come off in a second...OK! Right, follow me." Ms. Toll lead us onstage and we got and we got into our starting positions when the curtains were closed.
When they opened, bright light glared at us and we couldn't see the audience. I was so scared.
***
But it was so much fun! It went perfectly!
I couldn't believe I was I was going to be a flower girl in forty-five minutes! But that's not what everyone was excited about - it was the results in half an hour.
We all gathered around the screen for the soloists' results. The winner got to go onstage and take a bow!
Briana won in her tap solo category. In ballet Jenny didn't get placed, Bobby came joint third with two other people and Ely...came second. No, no, no - that's great! Bobby was OK with her resul t, but I could see how upset jenny was. Ely was happy, though! A sweet girl from a small dance school went onstage and took a bow. Even though you couldn't hear us, we all clapped for her.
It was time for our results! We came...second! we all cheered and whooped until we heard who won. The Carey Swan Academy for Exceptional Young Dancers. The biggest, snobbiest, richest academy in the country. They all laughed or looked at us smugly as they walked onstage. A horrible girl named Hilary Kay took the bouquet of flowers for the school and they all bowed in their little princess costumes. Nobody took the microphone and said anything. Not even soloists. But Hilary did. "I'd like to thank the BRILLIANT judges and our fabulous teachers. I guess I'm just glad that the BEST school won! Coming second, Ginger Academy (that's our school), just isn't the same." She smiled.
Then people clapped.
They CLAPPED?!
"You could stab her for that." Ely mut tered. And I agreed with her.
"It's us!" Tammy hissed and pulled me into the wings.
We took the bouquet together and walked on when they called Ms. Toll's name. I was smiling and I loved it. Until Tammy's foot purposely went just slightly to the left. I tripped on it and fell flat on my face. I went bright red. I should have been concentrating more - I knew she was going to do something. She walked for a couple more seconds then turned and faked shock.
"Oh my goodness! Are you alright?" She said loudly so everyone could hear, "Here, let me help you up."
I'm ashamed to say I let her. She kept walking beautifully as if nothing had ever happened. I curtseyed along with Tammy and presented Ms. Toll with flowers. She happily kissed Tammy's cheek, but mine - she kissed awkwardly, as if she didn't want to.
I went and stood in line and felt embarrassed. This was NOT what I'd imagined.
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Chapter 4
When we got back into dance lessons after the festival I approached Tammy, "You really embarrassed me out there! How selfish can you be? Everything was going well - we'd come second, Ely came second, Briana came first! Why did you have to ruin it for everyone?!"
"I didn't. You did." She replied cooly.
"What do you mean? You tripped me!" I spluttered.
"Yeah, but only just. My foot went to the side - but just a little. You couldn't tell." She explained.
"You would've noticed if you were watching." I disagreed.
"Yes, but they weren't!" She exclaimed, "They didn't know it was going to happen - they weren't waiting for that one moment."
I knew inside that she was right - they'd just think I had bad balance.
"Right, girls! listen up!" Ms. Toll shouted, "I would like to say something to Tammy (ah-ha! She knew!)...well done! For going back and helping Cora up, even thou gh it wasn't your fault. It would've been much easier to mutter 'get up' and keep walking, but you did the right thing. Give Tammy a round of applause!"
And they did! I felt like saying "No! She tripped me!" But they'd just think I was a tell tale.
I felt like crying. I'm not a stupid cryer. I don't cry when someone pinches me. It wasn't thats eh got all the glory (even though she did) - it was because I knew right then and there that I would NEVER get a solo by just being above average. I had to be fantastic. And that's what daunted me...
***
Mum practically started hallucinating when she saw me practicing my ballet in the sitting room. She asked me why and I replied: "It's a big, black stage. You can make it anything you want. I want to make it my own." She joked that it would kind of be vandalism, but then I explained that I meant with dance and she said for the fist time in my life I was speaking like a real adult. I kne w I was, though. I was changing - and I was going to be better.
I remember my Gran going to hospital and, even though I wasn't little anymore, dancing in the waiting room. Pirouetting straight into a nurse coming out of the room to collect x-rays.
"Wow! What you doin' there? Ballet?" She quizzed.
I nodded, "Pirouettes."
"You know," She pursed her lips and held the sheet lower, "you're really good."
That was teh first time anyone said that to me. Even Mum hadn't said that. I couldn't even say thank you. I just smiled. After a long pause I said, "How are my Gran's x-rays."
"Not so good." She frowned, "She seems to have broken her hip. But that's OK. It happens a lot and our doctors are great. She'll be herself again in no time."
Easy enough - my Gran had a hip replacement. Fine. And she was.
I kept going harder. A lot of de-odorant was needed and many dance clothes were bought. All the time, the nurse's final wor ds stuck with me: "Keep going with that ballet thing. You could be one of the best." Any by 'the best', I don't think she meant the likes of Bobby and Ely. I don't think she even meant the likes of Ms. Toll.
I think she meant best-dancers-in-the-word best. Like Royal Ballet best.
I had to keep asking my mum whether we HAD gone to the hospital that day - just to make sure that she'd siad that. I had to pinch myself because, even though I'd been doing ballet since I was three, I never thought I'd be any good at it.
I worked goodness knows how hard for my exam that year when I was eleven. And it paid off because I got (an admittedly low, but still) and A!! So did Ely, Bobby, Jenny and Tammy.
So I had proof. If I could get and A then I could get a solo...surely? Yes. I could and I would.
Cora Harrison says
Well done - you have quite a gift for telling a story - you make your reader want to keep turning the pages.
I wonder whether she (you) should be a bit more concerned about the grandmother - it comes across as a bit heartless. Would you be able to rewrite that section? I could slip it in. I would make it a bit of an internal struggle - where her feelings of delight make her feel guilty but she can't help being pleased... perhaps her mother is very upset...perhaps she remembers how encouraging her grandmother was about her dancing...internal struggles are always interesting to write about. It needs only a few lines but that bit did jar on me and her come across as very self-centered.
A lovely twist - and just the sort of thing that can happen. Your characters are nice and realistic.
Great - I hope you are going to play up the rivalry between you and Tammy - you are making her sound quite a 'creep' and I like the way it is going. Well done! I am enjoying this story.
No, I love this - I think you are developing character very well - yes, please, do send me the rest.
